Blog Post #2: Poetry Passage Essay and Reflection

Poetry Essay Revisions:

In "For That He Looked Not upon Her," George Gascoigne confesses the fragility of his heart to his lover. Gascoigne's relation to both a mouse and a fly injured by trap is in direct comparison to his own injured state of regret. Defending his "louring head," Gascoigne uses passive diction and increasingly bitter imagery to explain his defeated reaction. 

Gascoigne established his passive tone in the first quatrain of his English sonnet. In discussing "the gleams on which [her] face do grow," he recognizes the persistent beauty in his lover's eyes - a beauty he can't bring himself to deny. Gascoigne does, however, demand that his "eyes take no delight" to look upon hers creating a distance between himself and his bitter memories. Although he still finds her beautiful, he knows of the temptation that lay behind her enticing "gleams," and he knows of the consequences for falling victim to to this temptation. Gascoigne's passivity is used as a defense against these temptations in the first quatrain, but that does not mean that he doesn't recognize his own guilt.

The next four lines of the sonnet mark a shift from Gascoigne's passive tone in the first quatrain to a more self-pitiful tone. In comparing himself to a "mouse which once hath broken out of trap," he says far more about himself than about "her," the trap which he had finally escaped. Gascoigne's decision to metaphorically assimilate with the mouse, a feeble creature, suggests that his indisposition is not solely a result of her trap; he had always been fragile, but "she" further damaged the integrity of his heart. For having fallen into her trap and letting her chip off a part of him that is already so thin, Gascoigne knows that he can only allow himself to be hurt so much more before he breaks like the neck of a mouse under a rat trap.  

This building disgruntled tone further progresses into a more bitter tone in the third quatrain of Gascoigne's sonnet. This shift explores the active side of Gascoigne's voice, where he more directly compares himself to another creature singed by trap. After suggesting that a "scorched fly.. will hardly come again to play with fire," he uses the "I" pronoun to explain that he has "learn[ed] that grievous is the game." This ending to the third quatrain is in sharp contrast to the opening of Gascoigne's poem both with respect to its lack of passivity and vengeful imagery of the raging, scorching flames.

Although his bitter attitude was clear in the previous lines, Gascoigne resorts back to passivity in the couplet. In an attempt to push action off of himself, he finished the sonnet by reasoning that "[her] blazing eyes [his] bale has bred." In holding down his head, Gascoigne deepens the nature of his passivity, though, now with more a sense of defeat. Like a mouse or a scorched fly, Gascoigne is too weak, too fragile, to return to the very person that hurts him the most. Like a shard of broken glass, Gascoigne is fragile, injured by an unwanted force. His second and third quatrain reveal that, though fragile, he still has a sharp edge capable of harboring anger and his bitter tone.
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Poetry Essay Revision Refection:

After writing and reflecting on our first AP English Literature poetry essay, we rewrote our essay in response to George Gascoigne's "For That He Looked Not upon Her."  In the prompt we were asked to analyze how the "complex attitude of the speaker is developed through such devices as form, diction, and imagery." The poem, written in 1573, was Gascoigne's explanation as to why he could never again look into the eyes of a certain woman. Upon further analysis of the form of the poem - a sonnet - I was able to note far more of the complexities in the poem. Looking at the tone shifts from quatrain to quatrain, I was able to trace the emotional state and attitude of Gascoigne, shifting from a passive tone, to self-pity, to bitterness, then a resort back to passivity. The beginning and ending on a more passive tone reinforces the idea of fragility that I established in my new 'three sentence thesis'. This new thesis made it much easier to get to the point of the essay sooner on, while still addressing a unique take on the complexities of the prompt. Although I definitely see a lot of improvement from my first essay to the revision, I still feel there is more room to delve deeper into this idea of "fragility." In the revised essay, I focused on the structural elements of the sonnet, the tone shifts, and the imagery/metaphors used by Gascoigne; this approach helped me to better understand what a working, effective poetry essay feels like to write, but again, my focus was a little limiting. To further improve, I could try to, as I said, dig deeper into the overall relevance of the complexities that we are digging out using the new techniques we worked with in class. I would give my new poetry essay a score of seven. This was definitely a better essay, but I don't feel that the level of analysis was quite strong enough to bring the essay up to an eight. Within the next few poetry essays, I want to be comfortable enough in my writing to be able to feel more solid in the 'upper-level essay' range.  
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Sixteenth-century poet George Gascoigne was a victim of love. Though it seems a far simpler time, the 1570's were not unlike the 2010's with regards to matters of the heart. In his poem For that He Looked Not upon Her, Gascoigne speaks directly to "Her" and distances himself from "He," a version of himself that is so mangled he is afraid repair it. Gascoigne develops a complex attitude, balancing somewhere between lust and fear, towards "Her" as he explains why it is that he can never again look into her eyes.

This fear that Gascoigne feels is more primal than the feelings of love he once had; before he, "[a] muse which once hath broken out of trap," had escaped her embrace, he would have felt emotion far less natural - as if he were flying. But as thing that go up must come down, he, like "The scorched fly," came to terms with the true nature of being up in the air. By comparing himself to animals in peril, Gascoigne expresses the true visceral nature of the emotions he felt after his escaping her gaze: fear, anxiety, pain. Like the "mouse which once hath broken out of trap," or "The scorched fly which once hath 'scaped the flame," this injured man has learned to avoid at all cost the one thing that has hurt him more than anything else: love. 

Gascoigne is drawn to love, to his love, and like a mouse drawn to cheese on a trap or a fly drawn to light from a fire in the dark, "[She]" calls to him like a wolf in the night. He knows that a mouse must stop smelling the cheese to disregard its presence and a fly  must turn away from the flame to avoid its enticing glow; his desire is riled by the "dazzle" of her eyes.

What is the significance of her eyes? Something more sincere than a promise, something more tender than a feather, Gascoigne sees her eyes as the gleaming epitome of his deceit. Like bait on a trap, her eyes were the one part of her that he always knew he could trust, the one part of her that would never lie to him. The trap snaps shut. He was mistaken.
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Poetry Essay Reflection:

In the 2014 College Board poetry prompt, we read George Gascoigne's poem For That He Looked Not upon Her and were asked to analyze how the "complex attitude of the speaker is developed through such devices as form, diction, and imagery." The poem, written in 1573, was Gascoigne's explanation as to why he could never again look into the eyes of a certain woman. Heart-broken and distraught, he used melancholy imagery and paralleled himself to other animals who have felt, and learned to avoid at all costs, the sting of a trap. The three benchmark essays we read - 1A, 1B, and 1C - each took an interesting approach at responding to the prompt. Both essays 1B and 1C failed to respond with the complexity and depth of analysis that the prompt called for, but 1C fell even further behind by misinterpreting the mouse and fly metaphors above and by failing to adequately use the information in the text to craft its already poorly structured argument. Essay 1A, however, engages in a more comprehensive discussion of the poem, hitting on the very complexities and nuances that were missed by essays 1B and 1C. The capturing of these essential aspects of Gascoigne's message are what set apart essay 1A as an upper-level essay; if the writer of 1A wanted to bring his or her 8 to a 9, a stronger command of language and a more sophisticated explanation of analysis could be the very elements to kick an already strong 8-essay into the 9 pile. The essay above, that I wrote in response to the Gascoigne prompt, would definitely have fallen in with the mid-to-lower level essays. My essay directly and appropriately responded to the prompt, but did so with fumbled and awkward presentation. Although there were no blatant misinterpretations in my analysis, the essay was poorly organized, which distracted from the direct and effective interaction with the text. The organizational issues and the weak trail of logic really pull down the quality of the essay, but the strength of my analysis, albeit brief because of time constraints, bring the essay up to a mid-level range. My essay would likely have scored a 5, which is far better than "off-topic or inadequate," but is far from where I want to be when the AP exam get closer. My first goal is to take my poetry essay scores from a 5 and into the "upper-half" range (6,7,8, or 9); more specifically, I want to bring my essay score up at lest one point every two months so I can write essays that consistently  score either an eight or a nine. I have always found that analyzing and interpreting poetry has been one of my strengths, and with the knowledge of what sets a strong poetry essay apart from the large pool of mid-level essays, I think that I am in a good place to begin presenting strong and apt analysis in a clear and organized essay.
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Responding to Alex Chung's Poetry Essay and Reflection:
(chungalexanderenglishliterature2015.blogspot.com)

In his poetry essay, Alex responds to the prompt directly and efficiently. He wastes no time getting to the core of Gascoigne's dilemma: heartbreak. He comments on the three points, form, diction, and imagery, in his thesis; this accomplishes exactly what the prompt suggests, but at the same time, the prompt is merely that, a suggestion. "Such devices as..." leads the writer in the right direction, but doesn't have to be so strictly followed. Going beyond the obvious devices, like he did with his analysis of the balance between first and second person, would allow for a more nuanced and complex analysis of the piece. Alex's interaction with the text is both apt and specific, drawing clear references to the text. The analysis, however, leaves something to be desired, as the thorough and relevant quotes and textual evidence are limited impact because of the lack of much analysis. In his first body paragraph, Alex uses six sentences of 'summary' and only two sentences of convincing analysis. Although this analysis was clear and perceptive, it comes across as an after-thought to the references to the text. To improve the surface value of this analysis, Alex could cut out some of the summary and further develop his argument in the classification of the textual evidence. Alex had a very fair reflection of his essay, but I think that a 6 would be a more appropriate score because of the lack of developed and concrete, original analysis. To pull the score up, he could try to go beyond an explanation of what the evidence he pulls "does" and tie it into the prompt; how does it develop the complex attitude of the speaker. In his reflection, Alex hit the nail in the head by pointing out the better time-management could help him to improve the weak-links in his analysis; a stronger reflection, however, would have more measurable goals. The instructions for the reflection said to "provide specific, measurable goals for improvement," and this is something that wasn't really present in Alex's reflection. This was a great first poetry essay, and if Alex establishes some more specific, measurable goals, he will be in a great place to climb up even higher into the 'upper-level' essays. 
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Responding to Ashley Kramer's Poetry Essay and Reflection:
(kramerashleyaplit2015.blogspot.com)

Ashley's essay has a great start; her thesis statement responds appropriately to the prompt without sounding redundant or immature as many 'restate-the-question' thesis statements do. By directly addressing the speaker's "complex attitude" from the start, Ashley set herself up well to write in line with the prompt, a task that can be far more difficult than it appears. Unfortunately, in describing the author's use of imagery, she does make minor misinterpretations of the fly and mouse metaphors. The author had not intentions of implying he himself was small or insignificant, rather that he was vulnerable and injured just like the two creatures. I think that a 5 is a completely appropriate score given time constraints and our lack of familiarity with poetic analysis. To continue the promising start in the thesis statement, she should discuss the sonnet form and iambic pentameter the poem is written in. These features, as much as any other device, are essential aspects of the poems form and organization, which can reveal a lot about an authors analysis. On top of this, Ashley could have used more textually significant evidence to support the already strong ideas that she is putting forth. And as a final suggestion, Ashley's essay came across as a bit informal, so to make the writing more persuasive and to further bolster her ethos, she could remove some of the more colloquial words and contractions that frequent her writing and supplement them with more higher-level, scholarly diction that reflects the true level of analysis required to show mastery and understanding of the prompt and of the text. As it was for many students, time was obviously a constraint for Ashley, but with more time, I am confident that she would be able to refine her textual evidence and analysis to bring her essay from a 5 to a 6 or even a 7. Taking into account that this was the first poetry essay we've written in AP Lit, I think Ashley did a good job at tackling the Gascoigne prompt.